I was reading through past posts and I saw this one from January 8th, 2004:

Why don't you come around any more. It's not like I ask for much. Just the friendship that I need in you. I know I'm the reason it all changed. But what can I do. You won't tell me. Hell, you won't even call. I don't think you realize how much your absence truly hurts me. Every time we meet it puts me on a high for days. But, then I realize that feeling won't be back for months. Why do you make me wait. You know what's going to happen. You know how we'll end up. So stop being this way.

...It really hits home right now...

How is it that he treated me like total shit yet now that he's gone I miss him so much? He crosses my thoughts daily even though I know that he will think of me no more... that's if he ever did...

I'm not a Default fan, but I really like this song. A lot of it is me right now, but some of it isn't... So I just cut those parts out....

Something's wrong with your mind
It won't think of me anymore
Was it all a waste of time
Tell me why was I such a chore
Broken glass lies empty
Cut my voice so I can't say
Today was that day
It was that time...
You fell away
I don't know why
Lying here in your bed
The one that you liked to do it in
...and still in my brain I can't explain
What it's like not knowing if I'll ever cross your mind
Today was that day
It was that time...
You fell away
I don't know why
Sleep through the day
Fight with the night...
I never knew that hell could get so cold
Today was that day
It was that time
You fell away I don't know why...
Today was that day
It was that
You fell away
I don't know why...
Something's wrong with your mind
It won't think of me anymore
Was it all a waste of time...

Once again, I'm left feeling like I have no one. Sure I have friends, but no one I can go to. No one that I can actually talk about life to. No one who's on the same level as I am. Why does life have to be so frustrating? I've just spent the last 20 minutes on msn having two very heart-wrenching conversations and balling my eyes out. Life doesn't always go right, but I'm willing to press through...