Today is my first day stuck without a car. I got my license in May and since then I have pretty much had constant use of the car whenever I want. I now remember how it felt before I had my license. Grr... So frustrated. But, I won't complain - too much - it's only one volleyball game; I'll survive.

Do you ever get it where you feel like you have heart burn, but then you just realise it's heart break, or rather the need to feel loved by someone outside of your family?
...
'you give out your heart then claim you were used'
...

please forgive me, i know not what i do, please forgive me i can't stop loving you. don't deny me this pain i'm going through..

FORGET
A.K.A. Closure

I’m trying to forget
Forget your face
Forget those days
The dreadful days
The memory days
I’m trying to forget

You’ve treated me so nice
You’ve treated me so bad
I want to return the “favor”
But, I’ve already been had

The accusations
The misbeliefs
I’ll never feel the same way
As before that first day

Without you, I would’ve gone wrong
Without you, I would’ve done fine
With or without you
This life is all mine

I’m trying to forget
Forget your face
Forget those days
The dreadful days
The memory days
I’m trying to forget

It’s time for me to move on
Put up another picture
Put this all behind me
Start some new literature

Sick of hearing your name
Sick of seeing your face
But yet I’ve missed you
Ever since that day

I should’ve said goodbye
A long time ago
I knew you weren’t right
But, I had to put up a fight

I’m trying to forget
Forget your face
Forget those days
The dreadful days
The memory days
I’m trying to forget

It’s time to forget the old
And bring in the new
The image seems harsh
But, I can’t live for you

I wish we could be friends
But, that will never be
We’re such different people
In totally different streams

I’m trying to forget
Forget your face
Forget those days
The dreadful days
The memory days
I’m trying to forget

I’m trying to forget…

I just found out he's got a new girlfriend. They've been going out since early September. I don't know how to feel. I want to be happy, but I'm also.. I dunno.. I just wish I could forget him, but like I've said before - no matter how much we want them to, first-loves never go away.

"Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for Freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred."- Martin Luther king Jr.

WAR (Fighting For Peace Is Like F*cking For Virginity)

I Would Have Loved Him Anyway
I have just returned home from school to check who is online. As usual, my ex-boyfriend is there. On a whim, I decide to click on his name and attempt to say hello...you know...just to be *friendly*. After typing -hey- numerous times, I finally decide to close the box, disgusted at my own cowardice. Sadly, I look at the calendar...realizing that it should be our year-long anniversary. Does he even think about stuff like that? Things have changed so much...we have gone from talking every night at 11pm to not even being able to establish eye contact when we see each other around. It doesn't really hurt anymore...the pain of losing him...it's just become a dull ache. But sometimes late at night...as I listen to slow jams...memories plague my mind - and heart. My body still remembers how it felt like to be held close to his chest, and how he would squeeze me so tight because he was afraid to let go. How does love so easily slide into hate? I remember how he said that he wanted to still be my friend and he would be there for me. That's impossible. To go from something so intense to mere friendship? No. Some people were meant to be friends, while others were meant to be lovers. The problem being that lovers tend to be more temporal. And they hurt more. I think of everything I sacrificed for 1.5 months of bliss with him.....our friendship....my heart....but I would do it all again. Yes, I can't bring myself to speak to him...but I think that we have both changed...the girl in me will probably always love the boy he once was. He taught me how to feel. So I end this with a note...never be bitter at the guy who broke your heart. He showed you the intensity of love. You never know how special love is until you lose it. Maybe once again I will be able to talk to my ex boyfriend. Maybe not. I can regret how I handled things in the relationship, I can regret how we handled the breakup. I can cry, and bitch, and moan about how hurt and awful I feel. But you know what? I would have loved him anyway.

**I saw this in a forum-type-thing and totally related to it. I made a couple changes (in italics) so it's exactly me. Sounds stupid to you, maybe. But, it certainly got my heart beating again.